Piece by Piece
by futurecullen05
Summary: Four and Christina deal with the pain of losing the ones they love and help each other find a way to live with it. Set after Allegiant and Tris' death between the time they reentered the city to when they spread Tris' ashes. Just a one shot of what I believe Four may have gone through after losing Tris and how Christina helped him survive that loss.


**I heard the song by Passenger, "The Last Unicorn" and immediately thought of Four and how he may have overcome his grief. I am in no way pushing a Four/Christina relationship, that was not the point of this story. The point was two friends supporting one another through losing the person they loved. I think that this common loss may have bonded them, we saw a little of this in the book. I recommend listening to the song at the point I labeled it in the story but it is not necessary. I don't own these characters or this song but you should check out Passenger, he is amazing! Thanks as always for reading, reviews are loved but not required :)**

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**Christina's POV**

She laid awake in bed, unable to fall asleep for another night in a row. Every time she closed her eyes, the faces of all the people she lost would flash through her mind. Will's smiling face, Uriah's obnoxious laugh, Marlene's goofy jokes, and Tris' piercing eyes. She had lost so many people during the war, she wondered how she had survived, why she had survived when they hadn't. Surely they were more important than her, especially Tris. The haunting look Four carried now scared her, the broken man having taken place of such a strong one she had come to respect.

Like clockwork, she heard the footsteps pass her door. The same time every night, he must have had the same difficulty with sleep that she did. After the initial shock passed of the Bureau being reset and people moving back into the city, Christina and Four found their way back to Dauntless headquarters for a while. She didn't know how long they would stay here, their new apartments were ready for them, but for some reason they were pulled back to this place. As painful as the memories were, this is where the people they lost felt the most real.

She waited to hear the footsteps go back to his room but she never did. Had he finally decided to leave? She assumed he would have told her if he was moving on but guessed that he didn't owe her anything. They were only truly connected by the loss they shared, the grief that encompassed their entire bodies. She quietly got out of bed and stepped out of her room. She saw the light on as it was every night since they came back here.

Four was up in the fear landscape room, moving through his fears as he did every night. She knew it was to get a glimpse of _her_ but Christina worried about him. Christina had made small steps forward, having had more time to grieve for Will than Four had for Tris but she saw no forward progress. He was letting the grief swallow him whole. That was one of the reasons she decided to stay here with him, after watching him almost swallow the memory serum to forget the pain, she felt she owed it to Tris to keep him alive.

She slipped into her shoes and made her way up the ladder. She had never followed him before, not wanting to intrude on the time he spent in there, but this time something felt wrong. As she walked toward the open door she saw all the glass vials of serum he had used up, the floor was littered with them and her heart broke for him.

'_How many times has he gone through this?'_ she wondered and she gingerly stepped through the mess. She pushed the door open slightly to find him lying on the floor, body shaking with the tears that flowed down his face. She saw the puncture wounds of a hundred needles in his arm, injecting himself over and over again. She also saw the broken man lying there, one who did not survive when Tris died.

"Four, get up!" She walked over and pulled at him, trying to lift him onto his feet. "Four! Get up now! She would not have wanted you to do this to yourself. What are you thinking?"

He slowly looked up at her with tears still streaming down his face. "She's gone. What does it matter? She's gone Christina!" His voice began to fill with anger, she was glad to see any emotion on his face.

"She's been gone for a year Four! This needs to stop, we need to leave this place!" With that he pushed her away, threw her across the room. She picked herself up and wiped the glass off her arms that had broken her fall.

"I know that! Don't you think I realize every second she isn't here, that I don't know exactly how long it has been since I last touched her, kissed her, felt her warmth. Everything is gone from my mind but her eyes but now even that has left. What is left to fear when everything you lived for is gone? I have no right to the name Four anymore, I am an empty shell."

Christina watched him break down again, curling into a ball, weeping for his lost love. She walked over and gently put her arms around him. "What are you talking about Four?"

"Stop calling me that, call me Tobias, please. You know why I was coming up here, why I have used up every last drop of this stupid serum. To see her, she was in my fears and every time I injected myself I was able to see her face. But it's all gone now, every last one of them. Why be afraid of heights when there is no one left to keep you safe? Why worry about shooting an innocent person when you vow never to touch a gun again? Why worry about an abusive father when the woman you love will never touch you again, never smile at you again? It's all gone Christina, I am hollow. For a while I would just see her face but now that is gone too."

Christina squeezed him tighter and just let him get it all out. All the poisonous thoughts and painful memories he had been holding onto came pouring out of him. She had no idea what to say but she felt that no words were needed here, just some strong arms to hold him together as he broke apart.

"Christina, I can barely breathe without her. I feel so pathetic, so weak that it was able to break me this way but I loved her with every part of me. We wasted so much fucking time fighting about stupid shit, if I could have just one of those minutes back with her I would give anything for it."

"I know Four, I wish I had a minute back with any one of the people we've lost but it isn't going to happen so we have to move forward. You aren't leaving her behind, grow in her memory, become the man she would have wanted you to be. Every decision you make, make it with her in mind. Eventually the pain fades to a dull ache. You don't ever truly get rid of it but it will disappear. You are allowing yourself to live in the pain right now, but you need to live in the memories. Let yourself live so she could be proud of you. She loved you, even when you two were at your worst, all she did was think of you."

She felt Four turn to her at that moment and she knew their looks mirrored each other. Two people so full of loss and death only barely keeping each other together. That pain and loss catches up with you in the strangest moments, that loneliness surprises you at the strangest times and this was one of those times. She saw something glint in his eyes and felt it before it even happened.

She felt his lips press against hers as her body responded without even thinking. He turned in her arms and stood, holding out a hand for her. He leads her back to her apartment and pulled her inside.

_Both POV: start the song if you are listening to it._

They lay down on her bed together and wrapped each other up in their arms, lips meeting again. In her mind she told herself this needed to stop but each one of them had lost someone without any closure, lost them so abruptly that the feelings never went away. This was a kiss of two lonely people.

She had been so cold since Will's death, she felt slightly warmer in Tobias' arms. Will was the only person on her mind as she pulled him closer, deepened the kiss.

His mind was screaming out at him to stop this kiss, push her away but his body had been craving this. He hadn't gotten to kiss Tris goodbye and something felt broken, lost inside of him. His thoughts were only on Tris as he felt Christina deepen the kiss and pull him closer in her arms. He imagined Tris' hands on his back and imagined her lips on his.

He pulled away from her and saw her smile on her face, it was just what they had needed.

"I'm sorry, I just felt like I was drowning. Thank you." He began to get up but Christina pulled him back down.

"We don't have to do anything but will you just hold me? I don't want to cross a line or anything but I can't stand another night alone."

Tobias nodded his head and pulled her back into his arms. As he did a memory flashed into his mind, of Tris' laugh when everyone found out about them. Suddenly the memory pushed out of him, the first time he talked of her since she died.

"Remember after the scores were announced and Tris and I kissed. I remember her laughter at your shocked faces. Her laugh always lit up the room."

She smiled at the memory of Tris, always jealous of the way she captured a room. She also remembered the Pit, that night when they felt the most free.

"I remember the night you had too much to drink and approached her. I thought something had to be going on at that point. You were so forward with her and open, not like when you were throwing knives at her head or screaming at her during the fights."

Tobias smiled as he remembered that night, laughing when her words popped into his head, "I won't tell anyone but stay away from the chasm." They both smiled into the memories of the one they loved as they held each other and shared small moments of the people they loved. The time Uriah smashed the paintball in his mouth, when Marlene finally kissed Uriah, when Tris climbed the Ferris Wheel, when Will kissed Christina for the first time, when Four and Tris were in the chasm.

He looked at Christina and saw her mending but a small part of him felt how off this was. She wasn't the warm body he craved that fit so perfectly into his arms, her head a little too high, arms a little too long. He saw her looking at him and wondered if she felt the same thing.

He felt so lost without Tris, unsure of what to do with his life now that she was gone. He didn't know if he would ever truly know, she made him such a better man.

Christina felt herself begin to slip into sleep, able to finally find peace in Four's arms. The short time she had with Will made her sad they weren't his arms wrapped around him. He had such a way of holding her that made her feel as if nothing could harm her. He had whispered into her ear one night that he was hers, her man and no one else's. Tears slowly leaked out of her eyes and she squeezed them shut. Will was slipping away from her, slipping into just a memory and lying with Four made her realize she needed to also let him go to move on. She felt tears fall on her cheek and looked up to see Four was also crying.

The pain from Tris' absence crushed his chest, shattered his soul knowing he would never hold her again, never smell her hair, or feel her laughter fill him up. He felt himself being pulled into sleep as her memories surrounded him.

He pulled Christina closer as he drifted off into the most peaceful night of sleep he had since he heard Cara's words so long ago at the Bureau.

The next morning, he begin to remove himself from Christina's arms and gave her a small kiss on the forehead. As he was putting on his shoes, she began to stir.

"Fo-Tobias? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do anything to upset you last night but…..thank you for staying. I haven't slept like that since…well in a very long time. We're still friends?"

He turned to her and smiled, "Of course. Thank you for helping pull me out of my misery. You are right, Tris would punch me if she could see me now. I have to take small steps forward, keep her memory alive but not let it take over my life. I'm sorry for yesterday too, I hope I didn't upset you with that kiss. I haven't slept like that in a long time either. I'll see you around." With that he stood up and walked out of her room. As he entered his room, he was overwhelmed by the memory of Tris in this small place. The time he brought her here after Peter's attack, before the ending ceremony were some of the best in his life. He had to move on and make new memories.

Over the next few days, Four and Christina didn't say much to each other but after a week passed from when she saved him from the fear landscape room, they both found themselves standing by the tattoo parlor with their belongings packed.

"What are you going to get?" she asked him as they made their way to the chair that hadn't been used in a while. "Something that will remind me of her, you really know how to use these things?"

"It can't be that hard right?" Christina smiled at him. "What do you want first and where?"

Tobias slipped his shirt off and pointed to the space over his heart. "Just a raven here please." He leaned his head back as Christina added fresh ink to his skin and when she pulled away he saw it there, always flying over his heart, his love.

"Your turn. Good thing Tori showed me once how to use these. What do you want?"

"An eye right on my collarbone please above my heart as well." Four added the symbol for Erudite, more importantly for Will, onto Christina's skin.

After the tattoos were finished, they grabbed their things and took one last look at the place that had changed it all for them. They wandered over to the Chasm and stood for a moment. Christina was the first one to talk.

"He changed me, showed me I didn't have to be honest all the time, showed me how to let loose, and most importantly showed me how to love. I love you Will." She let her tears fall into the chasm, join the rushing water as she let the pain go from her body.

Tobias took a deep breath, "She showed me that it was important to fight for what I believed in. I was going to leave before I pulled her out of that net but she gave me something to live for. She showed me I was worth loving, strong, and not defined by my father's actions. She pushed me to be the best person I could be. I love you Tris, I'll be seeing you soon." His tears joined Christina's and knowing he would never be without the pain of losing Tris, he would now be able to manage it and grow in it instead of letting it swallow him whole.

With that he grabbed Christina's hand and they left the pain behind as they exited the place that had changed it all for them one last time.


End file.
